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TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY AT IBROX

A look behind the scenes of Ibrox on transfer deadline day.

An absolute must see. Credit to Murphio on KDS for this excellent video.

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GERS BACK ON STABLE FINANCIAL FOOTING

As the world lurches ever closer to economic recession, not for the first time that quintessentially British team Rangers has bucked the trend and confounded its numerous critics by launching an audacious business plan which is sure to attract millions to the Scottish giants. Read more

AIDEN MCGEADY, PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG MAN

Aiden McGeady, portrait of the artist as a young man by Roddie Forsyth.

It was Churchill who once said that the Soviet Union was an enigma, wrapped in a paradox and neatly knotted in a contradiction. This too might apply to Aiden McGeady, but the central question remains who, or more exactly, what is Aiden McGeady?

A boy who speaks with the unmistakable accent of Glasgow’s underclass, yet classifies himself an Irishman? An individual who gained open access to the very best of what Britain had to offer, a free education and that wonder which is called the National Health Service.

So how do we categorize Aiden McGeady? A Gael? An Hibernian? Or should we simply satisfy ourselves by labelling him a wee Erse? Any of these Irish adjectives are surely appropriate, for the man who turned his back on the country that made him what he is.

Celtic too are culpable in creating the confusion that exists in McGeady’s mind, and here Gordon Strachan more than anyone else must hold up his hands and confess that this so-called ‘proud Scot”, did nothing to stop McGeady make his misguided choice of country. If for argument’s sake the same situation were to arise at Ibrox, it would be impossible to envisage Walter Smith encouraging say, Kirk Broadfoot from choosing Scotland and no other country when the call comes.

But we must remain objective here. If life dealt Jeremy Beadle a bad hand, then the same can certainly be said of McGeady. He was born a natural left footer, there is nothing more to be said. Sometimes circumstances are dictated from above.

GERS BLAST BBC ‘HUN’ SLUR

Rangers blasted the BBC tonight over it’s choice of viewing schedule to coincide with BBC Scotland coverage of the uefa cup match between Rangers and Greek side Panathinaikos.

As our exclusive picture shows, every other BBC region screened ATILLA THE HUN while BBC Scotland had Rangers v Panathinaikos live from Ibrox. Read more

IBROX SUPERDOME MAIN INVESTOR REVEALED

A TOP secret investor behind the project to rebuild Ibrox can be revealed today.

As our exclusive picture sensation shows, Lotto winner Mikey Carrol is to bankroll the stunning £700 million development, which includes a radical transformation of the ground and the surrounding neighbourhood.

Pictured today holding a copy of the Ibrox Superdome Blueprint, Mikey said: “I’m delighted to be investing my fortune in Rangers”

CELTIC FC & WORLD WAR II

In one of the most inglorious chapters of their long inglorious history, perhaps Celtic’s despicable role in trying to assist the nazis and fascists to victory in the dark years of 1939-45 was the most reprehensible.
It has been well recorded that Celtic groundsmen succesfully managed to turn on the huge floodlights during the height of the blackout and thus guide the Luftwaffe on their murderous mission of sowing mayhem and destruction.

There was also of course the notorious episode of the U-boat which sailed up the Clyde with a tricolour hanging from the turret while all the time the nazi mariners gave a lusty version of the Celtic song in German.

It is a well known fact that the young Adolf Hitler was also a fanatical Celtic supporter. Long before the concept of a season ticket holder came into existence, Hitler was a regular passenger on the Friday night Hamburg tramp steamer which got him into Glasgow just in time on Saturday afternoon for kick off.

“Hail! Hail!’ or “Heil! Heil!”? I think we are all bright enough to know that exposure to the Jungle on a regular basis had a disastrous effect on this impressionable young man. It’s no exaggeration to state that Celtic is inextricably linked with the outbreak of the second world war and the subsequent death of millions of people. But sadly, we hear none of this reported in contemporary sources.

Finally, Willy Maley and Jimmy McGrory were caught by MI5 using an illicit radio, transmitting messages to Germany in which they reported the movements of Royal Navy ships down the Clyde.But such was the influence of the Pope, that both men were admonished without charge. Has Scotland really changed?

By Billy Leckie

EXCLUSIVE: RANGERS GO GLOBAL

Following on from the announcement that clubs in the EPL will now play certain EPL games outwith the frontiers of England, Rangers have announced a sensational deal which will mean that the club will play half of next season’s games against top class opposition in some of the world’s most exotic locations.

There are however some important differences with the deal for English clubs, as Mr Martin Bain pointed out this morning.

“We will not be using SKY to broadcast the games but instead, Grampian television.” Read more

SOCIALIST GROUP FOR GERS FANS

The Rangers Socialist Supporters Association is an organization which aims to embrace people of different cultures, races and certain religions.

They cherish the rights of the individual above all, and realize that Rangers has to change to reflect the on-going changes we see in British society.

Sexism and homophobia are two additional blights in our society and we affirm the right of women and homosexuals to have fair and equal treatment in our country, (the same should also apply to Scotland). Read more

EDGAR’S COLUMN:CHEERING THE DEAD

Read the downright rancid views of everyone’s favorite rent-a-quote independent fan’s group leader!

Only in your Scottish Daily Hun!

by Daffyd Edgar

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Greetings again fellow bears from Daffyd Edgar, your very own bear in the know. Remember I am here for YOU! What YOU thinks matters.

First up, cheering the dead. Okay it was extremely regrettable that Phil O’Donnell died, equally as regrettable that Celtic ducked out of a dead cert away defeat at Motherwell, but let’s not go there. ( We leave that sort of thing to a certain other club whose name I will not mention!).
Read more

BEAM ME UP, WATTY

Exclusive: Gers clinch sensational Star Trek sponsorship.

Having achieved his ambition of taking Rangers to “another level” seasons ago, Sir David Murray is about to blast the Ibrox club into another orbit!

The Daily Hun was invited to an exclusive press conference at Murray Park yesterday afternoon whereupon ‘Gers chairman, Sir David, movie director JJ Abrams and a delegation from Paramount Pictures were all present.

Abrams, mastermind of recent monster-smash Cloverfield, is to produce and direct the reboot film of sci-fi franchise, Star Trek. The movie, out next summer, is a prequel which will tell the story of the Enterprise and its young crew at a time set before the original 60s series. Read more

A GREAT INVENTION CALLED THE INTERNET

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: The moment Sir David took the advice of Guy Roux and realises that Daniel Cousin has already played for two clubs this season.

“There is a great invention called the Internet which makes it easy to check these things” Said Guy Roux, Former Lens coach.

ENIC won’t be Happy…

 

 

MOVIE REVIEW - 700 MILLION POUNDS..

The Daily Hun reviews the latest Hun movies, DVD, VHS and Betamax releases.

Today, Forbes looks at the straight to DVD title; 700 Million Pounds of Stadium.

By Forbes Munro

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700 Million Pounds of Stadium.

A tortuous tale of fabrication, lies and betrayal that starts behind the famous red brick facade of the Ibrox Superdome.

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5 STARS

IT REALLY IS A MUST SEE!

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Pictures: Blackwater_Park

INTERVIEW WITH IAN FERGUSON

The years have been good to Ian Ferguson, the Rangers legend who bled blue blood and had the heart of a lion. Now based in Wooallonga, Northern Territory, the Australian outback is a world away from Govan on a dreich, January afternoon.

Ferguson is currently head coach at the local Wooallonga football club, and although having none of the allure of Ibrox, the local stadium is small, tidy and compact. Ferguson looks tanned, relaxed and his youthful appearance belies his forty-two years. Read more

NO CHEAP SEATS FOR GERS

Bill Struth Memories; If a Rangers player was caught in the cheaper seats at the cinema, Mr Struth would fine them.

He maintained that as a Rangers player, only the best was suitable - and quite right too.

Words: Some nutter from FollowFascism.com

Pictures: Caesar Lopez

 

STRUTH AND HONOUR - THE GLORY YEARS

From ‘Struth and Honour - The Glory Years’, by Fabry Cation

Prior to a important match against Burtisland Welders in 1942, the squad ravaged by the possibility of conscripton and an outbreak of gout, the Ibrox dressing room almost buckled under the pressure of tweaked groins and over use of the desserts menu. Struth contacted Churchill insisting the good name of Rangers was at stake and demanded reserves. Churchill, a keen follower of the game sent 4 bandages, a bottle of Port and a nurse called Bernadette Malloy.

Struth, fearing his team may be called up should they lose the game, worked his magic, tirelessly rubbing strained groins, in some cases in the players own beds, much to the annoyance of their wives.

Rangers took an early lead, which many attributed to the fact that the Burtisland team were fighting on the front line.The game finished 12-1, the solitary goal coming from Struth himself as he inadvertently ran past 6 of his own team in order to show them what was expected of them. The Rangers keeper, Archie Proudfoot was later taken outside and shot. Many believe it was Struth himself who carried out the shooting, although the Procrator Fiscal saw no reason to bring charges, given Rangers had a promising keeper waiting in the wings.

 

Original By EME 

WALTER SMITH EXPLAINS THE DOOMED TRIP

I feel that I owe an explanation concerning Martin Bain and my failed trip to Italy to sign internationall rated Luigi Carrimacase.

I don’t intend to hide anything and will go into the whole matter in detail. Rangers supporters are not fools, and they deserve transparency and honesty.

Martin arrived outside my house at 9.22 a.m. in his shiny red Ferrari. WE drove to John Smeaton International Airport. Martin looked resplendent in his yellow blazer, mauve cravate and pink chinos.

He positively shone in the morning sun. Before we entered the terminal, we stopped to pay tribute to the actions of those brave men who thwarted a terrorist attack.

Once inside we headed straight for the First Class check in desk. Martin insisted in getting the window seat. We paid with the Alan Hutton Bonanza Credit Card.Once on board, I ordered tatties and mince but for some strange reason they don’t seem to serve it on planes. Martin had canard a l’orange, oysters and caviar before starting his main course. Read more

HOW ONE FAN FEELS - THE DAY THE SPL DIED

Today, this paper was inundated with fans wishing Alan Hutton all the best after leaving Gers. The Fans are clearly unhappy about Alan leaving.

One contribution which clearly stood out from the rest was this piece below.

Submitted by Billy from Glasgow and entitled;

How One Fan Feels. The Day The SPL Died.

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To the tune of American Pie - How one fan feels. The Day The SPL Died.

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How Alan Hutton used to make us smile.
And I knew if he had a chance
That he could make those tims dance
And, maybe, we’d be happy for a while.

But January made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad transfer news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step. Read more

WALTER & BAIN RETURN FROM MILAN

Picture Exclusive: Gers chiefs touch down at Glasgow Airport after the failed bid to persuade Italian striker Andrea Caracciolo to join the Ibrox revolution.

The £7 million striker snubbed Gers to sign for Serie B cracks Brescia after club chiefs jetted in to seal the deal personally.

Bain told the club’s official website: “Discussions were held today in Milan with the player, Andrea Caracciolo, however, he has chosen to sign for Brescia.

GERS DELEGATION ARRIVE BACK FROM ITALY

Standing on the rain swept tarmac of Glasgow International Airport (due to be renamed Smeato Aerodrome), Martin Bain and the rest of the Gers delegation cut a tired, albeit satisfied group after a whole five minutes of intense negotiations in Italy.

” It was not easy and there is no getting away from the fact that those Italians drove a hard bargain. However, I hold in my hand a piece of paper which guarantees no signings in our time. All Gers supporters can sleep easily in their beds safe in the knowledge that we are looking after their best interests. If other clubs want to spend wildly and not exercise due caution, then that is their problem. Sir David has authorized me to make the following statement; “For every one million pounds Celtic spend, we will spend nothing”. Are there any further questions? No, then I’ll hand you over to club physician, Dr Mengele”.

“Yes, I was asked to determine the fitness of Gers target, Mr Invisible. I can categorically state that he was unfit to play for Gers due to the fact that he wore a crucifix. Any questions? No, then let’s go the pub and spend all that lovely dosh we got for Alan Hutton!”

Daily Hun Blogs

TRAVEL BLOG - A QUINTESSENTIAL HOLIDAY

Meet Colin Stein - 46, from Bridgeton, spends his money on tickets for Ibrox , booze and skinny jeans, writes for SwallowSwallow in his spare time. He’s... 

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